do u snore?

this…

is Pabst, a mixed-boxer who won World’s Ugliest Dog 2009 in california, for mixed-breed category. but i do not think he’s ugly at all. he looks tough and charming

and this is miss ellie, a chinese crested hairless dog who won also World’s ugliest dog 2009 for pedigree category.

btw, she’s 15 years old and blind. though me and sibling were LOL so hard as we saw her at first sight, but i think she’s cute.

the owners got each 1600 USD.

hffff… dogs are awesome creatures, they never pretend to like you when they don’t.

pics from here

the weather these days… hff… bikin pengen tidur terus… isn’t june supposed to be.. warmer?

but not bad lah…kemaren gue ud bisa pake shorts and simply t-shirt jalan2 keluar nyobain kue dan duduk di luar, walau anginnya masih dingin kadang, matahari maen petak umpet, don’t care lah, you can do whatever you want.

lately i’ve been having mixed feeling. sad, happy, excited, afraid, hopeful, hopeless, upset, trying to be wise… cranky, trying to be thankful, well i’m trying hard and i can say that this isn’t easy but i’m doing better and better, once in a while i quit but then i walk again. sometimes i just don’t know how to take it all, clueless.. but i’m still here anyway, i’m not running away, at least til now.

don’t know what else to write.

on tuesday i’m going for a 2-week vacation to 2 countries. mesti ijin selama 2 minggu and i have to bring my netbook so i that i can write assignments during vacation, how lovely. but i don’t care lah, bisa terima enak, yg ga enak juga mesti dijalanin, semua toh bukan tanpa hasil.

vacation. meet new people. take pictures of new places. try new food. away from library. islands. summer breeze. shorts. sandals. i need that

except that i have to take airplanes ughh..

people change, even on a daily basis. but at times, it’s not whether we become worse or better, sometimes it’s not about that at all, and perhaps it depends on how you view it, or who you are as the spectator.

i’ve changed, for instance. i realized just now as i went jogging that i never go to tiergarten again. instead, i feel like going to run around the small river (see pics) cos i am truly alone there, it’s so near to tiergarten but hardly i find someone also running there. i dont know, being near the water feels more comfortable to me, well running CAN’T be comfortable, but i bet you know what i mean. i used to go jogging on weekends, but now i prefer monday and wednesday since they are the days where i feel exhausted and fed up the most, and because on weekends i want to sleep longer. it’s been windy these days and my hair is longer that i can tie it up as i used to. i also have been choosing colourful items for everything i buy. i’ve also changed in viewing the term “getting older”, i used to freak out when it comes to birthday, but now i’ve decided not to, since all younger people around me are freaking out and complaining at getting older in their early twenties! very very early twenties for the love of God! so let them do the freaking out, i do the sit back and relax. anyway, they’re better at freaking out than me.

but some things never change. no matter how influential a friend’s certain type of songs are to me, some songs never leave my playlist, those are songs i always go back to, namely coldplay, john mayer and many others. i still put two teaspoons of sugar to my coffee. i still like green and (hopefully) will never like pink. my view on certain things never change, of friendship, of family, and many other small things i can’t mention. i still suck at letting go of things, which is no better than my cooking skill. well some call me stubborn, so to speak. we can’t change completely, but we should not stay the same either. some things have to change, some you can count on to stay the same.

so really, it depends.

saya mau cerita! it’s what i got from my classmates’ presentations in “Perisinting en the-biting” class every monday.

one time a girl gave a presentation about “when death goes pop”, it’s about the arguments of presenting death in public, mostly by celebrities.

nah yg gue baru tau, ternyata ada yg namanya virtual cemetery. google aja ntar juga muncul hundreds of them. so with only around 12 usd you can buy a block, lets say for your dead relatives or loved ones. lu bisa mourning seenaknya di depan komputer mau di luar ujan, salju, badai… you can even buy a cemetery for your pets. which is i think a great way to do… when you want to lose your sanity.

a: hey, why are you crying in front of the laptop? watching titanic?
b: no… shhh… please give me some space. i’m honoring my chihuahua…

still people buy that stuffs. well, i don’t wanna judge, my brother is an IT person, but i am really hoping that he will never spend money on that one.

then one day, a girl also gave presentation about anorexia and bulimia disorders… and debating whether the media should hold responsibility for that bla bla bla…

so i also found out, there’s a website worshipping anorexic and bulimic celebrities like mary-kate olsen and keira knightley. will not discuss further about it. cuma mau blg kalo di web itu mereka punya the “Thin Commandments” waktu si classmate ini bilang:

a: well they even have this thing called the “thin commandments” and you guys know what they are?
sarcastic girl: let me guess.. don’t eat, maybe?

ternyata isinya:
1. If you aren’t thin you aren’t attractive.
2. Being thin is more important than being healthy.
3. You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, starve yourself, do anything to make yourself look thinner.
4. Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty.
5. Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself afterwards.
6. Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly.
7. What the scale says is the most important thing.
8. Losing weight is good/ gaining weight is bad.
9. You can never be too thin.
10. Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and success.
source: don’t click :p

after the class, i feel like eating a lot! XD

and berhubung minggu depan ada demo mahasiswa ttg kebijakan baru di potsdam, dan berhubung senin depan adalah jadwal gue presentasi, berikutlah percakapan di penghujung kelas:

sarcastic girl: sir, how about next monday?
sir: ow, whose turn is it next monday?
me: me!!! *raise hand*
sir: only you? don’t we have 2 presentations each meeting?
me: no, on the 15th it’s only me.
sir: ow..well i will not hold it against you if you have to go on the politic business demonstrating, but i’m still gonna be here and i wanna know who’s going to be here next monday and not going on the strike?
*tiga orang raise hands*
sir: only three? oh come on, can you just be here for like 30 minutes for the sake of poor yunita?
-_-’ *plis deh sir*
me: oh.. it’s okay, i don’t mind, sir, really! *malah seneng banget kalo ditonton 3 org doang*
sir: oh guys, come on… it’s not fair for poor yunita…
me: *nurunin tangan, gosh sir you really dont have to be like that lah* -_-’
sarcastic girl: what if it’s changed to the fortnight monday the 22nd? we’ll have 3 presentations and go home at 5? *extended class*
sir: ah… such a good idea! everybody is going to be here then. is it ok with you, yunita?
me: awesome! *really, poor me*

everyone needs something to hold on to, to be able to keep on living and going forward, even if you have to walk against the harsh wind or swim against the tide. well, some of us at one point of time have to go through those times. sometimes with people whom we can share with, but not seldom that we only find ourselves, truly alone. no one to share with, perhaps you don’t have the courage to do that, or perhaps you don’t trust people enough. but that’s not the thing now, having courage or not, trusting enough or not, there are times when we are truly alone.

everyone needs something to believe in. i like to call it, hope. hope is universal. everyone recognizes it at an instant glimpse. that’s what christine walter in changeling needs in order to be in a different state as yesterday, to keep hoping that her son is still alive somewhere. it’s the hope that someday she will be reunited with her son. some may call it stupid, some may take it as her holding on to illusion or false belief. but i guess she doesn’t really care, cos the hope she has is what makes her keep on living, and not the opinion of others. ya, that’s what i think that people have to reach some level of hardship that makes them truly don’t care about what others say or think.

and if you lose hope, you stop. you just quit. you are no good for others, and even for yourself.

and i see myself as a weak person, that sometimes i think that people out there have more healthy common sense than me, and very often i belittle myself for thinking this way. and it’s not that i don’t like to share with people, for they say that that’s what friends are for. and i use my humor to cover things up,and it works and makes them quit asking or even wondering. and for people like me, who often begs the Almighty to just cut things up when they start to break off, realizing that sometimes that’s not the right thing to do. and a few days from that time on, i find myself being weak again, resisting my own decision and contradicting every single of it.

i don’t know why i’m writing this. i guess i’m just referring to hope blindly. i’m walking in the tunnel without having seen the light yet and whether in the end i may find myself holding on to something delusional, well maybe i shouldn’t care about the end. i just need something to hold on to, like you guys. even i want to be strong. even i just want to feel better than yesterday, or this morning.